Push pull effect dating
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The new one is snarling and writhing around in pain, in my heart, a head full of black shadowy snakes like some demon that was rudely awoken from its grave. As a person recovering from PTSD, I have experienced a push-pull dynamic at times in my relationship due to triggers frequently opening up past trauma like it did with these “medusas.” This whole discussion of the medusas is just to show that triggers can cause all variety of internal responses from slight nervousness and unease to a full blown flashback of a huge memory nexus conglomerate.
If the trigger is something about your partner, you may indeed push them away just to get some relief from all this activation of the nervous system.
There was about a week of relative calm Nov 7-14 (not very calm but calm by comparison to previous weeks).
Then around November 15, when my boyfriend and I were beginning to get intimate (I felt safe enough with him), something opened up this flashback of another traumatic sexual memory. I mean, some traumatic memories are not “a memory.” They are more like a nexus or group of memories that come with all these layers of meaning and can rip your heart out.
If instead, you consciously create chemistry by flirting and getting into the feminine part of yourself, he’ll feel an authentic attraction to you as a person instead of some type of trickery that will wear off eventually, making him wonder why he liked you in the first place. Expecting someone to give you what you want without asking for it is what children do.
I don’t mean to diminish the validity and reality of my symptoms or make myself feel bad for having them. resize=300,401 300w" sizes="(max-width: 692px) 100vw, 692px" data-recalc-dims="1" / I don’t know why but unfortunately there are things about my boyfriend that just happen to remind me of 5 past traumatic experiences (experiences lasting in duration from an incident (an hour) to years of trauma).
I’m just saying this because – if these symptoms are related to things that , maybe there is hope to one day return to normal. They are such little things, like being a guy, and snoring at night…just normal things really.
A long term relationship dynamic in which one member "pushes" the other other away if intimacy becomes too great or the relationship threatens to become "too serious", yet also "pulls" the pursuer back with signs of interest if the target begins to give up on pursuing the relationship.
Typically this habit is the result of some one with a fear of commitment who craves the relationship yet is unwilling to give up the option of keeping all of their options open.
When the triggers bring up really difficult memories, you may decide to take space from them and want to be alone for a period of time.