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If this is about trying to influence or even force him into making a decision or at the very least, gameplaying, re-evaluate your motives and think about the bigger picture and whether is how you want to spend your time, because it’s a slippery slope to losing your dignity and no one is worth that. One of the strengths of the guy in this relationship is that he has the power to get around you. That and whatever you’re prepared to settle for is what you’re going to get. Put yourself in her shoes and ask yourself how you would feel if you were her in the same situation. When you stop seeing her as this inconvenient, pesky obstacle, in truly empathising, you will be able to feel compassion and also have self-compassion. Do you still want to be doing this in 3, 6, 9, 12 months or even in years? Instead of being in watching TV with your feet up waiting for his call, be out. If you think you’ll be tempted to be swayed, change your mobile phone or block his email address. You’d be surprised though – lots of people have been in your situation.If you’re serious, here are some suggestions for making an exit that focuses on self-care. Whatever story he has told you about why he’s with both of you, the cold hard truth is that he has chosen not to leave because having the best of both worlds is what he chooses. Blaming her for his infidelity and blaming you for why he hasn’t left ignores the bigger picture of the real issues. I know that I never saw myself as a sideline woman, no matter how low my self-esteem was. This is a good time to think about your short-, medium- and long-term goals, as well as your values. If you can afford it, go away for a few days or a week to somewhere nice or go and stay with friends and family. Stop being where he expects you to be and break whatever routine you have. There is someone in your life who can and will be empathetic and support you with your exit.
Through junior high and high school she had always been very athletic, being the star player on the girl's basketball, softball, volleyball, and track teams. Starting in junior high I had asked her out every year and every year she blew me off never taking me seriously.The only time you should date is when you are truly ready to move on and Mr Married/Attached doesn’t figure any longer. No matter what you think, something or someone, or both, suffered while you focused your energies on your situation.If you let work slide or put off career decisions, prioritise whatever it is, now.There’s the sense of rejection, loss, and even abandonment that can be activated by an affair.
It can feel like an exorcism that brings up every ugly thought and issue that you may have been unaware was rumbling around inside you.I actually hadn't realised quite how bad it was till I started taking citalopram and I felt normal! I feel incompetent at my job and I've even started wondering if it's right for me, I'm a teacher and I've always loved my job.