Dating a guy on the rebound

14-Nov-2017 07:49

I know this might sound kind of disappointing, but trust me, it’s better you really think this through now before you get deeply entrenched in a relationship with someone who hasn’t worked their stuff out yet.

It doesn’t mean he’s a bad guy, or that you aren’t good enough or even that you aren’t good together.

I’m talking about the process of the guy (or girl) looking inside themselves and recognizing the areas that are still raw… When a breakup happens, I think we all like to kid ourselves into believing that we’re OK and we have things all worked out… I know I’ve had breakups where I thought I was OK after a period of time, but the truth is I wasn’t fully back to 100% until a full year later.

It wasn’t like I was sulking in a corner for a year, but I would catch myself 6 months after the breakup thinking about “unfinished business” or “loose ends” that still bothered me.

“Oh, she’s just a rebound,” “She just broke up, she’s looking for a rebound,” etc. When a relationship ends, there are all sorts of loose ends and areas of life that end up changing (depending on how closely connected these two people were.) The rebound happens when the guy or girl doesn’t address the loose ends and just seeks out another relationship to “shortcut” getting their life back into the order it was in before.

I’m not just talking about finding a replacement girlfriend who can cook as well as well as the last one or is willing to do the same things with you the last one was.

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This is one of those conversations that I hear people talking about all the time. They’re used to each other, they expect the other one to be there and their day-to-day lifestyles are intertwined.

I am ashamed to admit that I treated them in a crappy manner.

Yes, there were multiple men; I had numerous rebounds.

A rebound rarely means trying to find another meaningful relationship with another person; it almost always means looking for something else while trying to forget what you used to have.

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Being a rebound comes with a slew of mixed signals that can teeter between “they're obviously not looking for something serious” and “they're trying to get too serious, too quickly.” The best way to be 100 percent sure you're helping someone get over their ex in the most unhealthy way possible?

Rebounding: a selfish, tumultuous practice that takes the phrase “the only way to get over someone, is to get under someone else,” all too literally. When it comes to rebounding, things often do not go well; chances are your rebound will quickly discover that you've been using him/her to “win the breakup,” and promptly alert social media to your actions with some colorful profanity.

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Granted, there might not be as many girls on there as there are on some of the other sites mentioned here (apparently, Adult Friend Finder has a 16 to one male to female ratio), but given the nature of the site, you can get from chatting to sex much faster than with any of the other chatrooms below. … continue reading »

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