So what’s the root cause of this destructive force of fixation?How can you completely banish it from your love life, so love has a chance to flourish and grow? Simple, however, does not always translate to easy.It’s usually based on an obsession, or idealization, more than a genuine appreciation and acceptance of who the other person is. Well, when you love someone, it is pretty effortless.There is a tremendous difference between real, true love and unhealthy obsession or fixation… It is true and pure – you don’t need them to be any certain way.Most of the love stories we see in pop culture are rooted in infatuation…not real love.Some degree of infatuation is fine, but a relationship entirely rooted in infatuation is usually doomed.If you’re not listening to the music, you’re not experiencing music.Yes, I realize I’m speaking in metaphors, so let me tie this up: I don’t care if you of them is not your relationship – it is simply a thought in your head, completely irrelevant to the on-going music of your relationship.
Instead of your guy feeling relaxed around you, he feels pressure (like he’s afraid to offend you or upset you).Our society tries to make relationships into a thing – a thing that can be worked on, fixed or broken. You can say you have the song or own it, but saying you have a song on your i Pod has nothing to do with your experience of the song as it’s playing.I don’t care if you have a million songs on your i Pod.They observe if their connection to the other person feels like love (good) or obsession (bad).
If it feels like obsession, they drop it like it’s hot.
I think most women run into issues and confusion in their love lives because they don’t know what a truly healthy relationship looks like, and is supposed to feel like.