Dating for indian guys


01-Sep-2017 06:48

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From what I've witnessed in the lives of friends and family friends, it isn't atypical in Indian-American culture for parents to suggest high-paying professions as viable options.

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I am not a "highly educated" person (well, not according to conventional standards, anyway. And I never to be; I was always the artist, the social outcast, the brown girl different from most brown guys who were on their way to pursuing a steady job and a steady income in law or medicine or business. I liked to talk about indie-pop artists; they liked to talk about which Mercedes they were saving up to buy. Simply put, brown guys and I had little-to-nothing in common besides our brown skin color. There was this brown guy named Rohit*, the first of three Indian guys I've ever dated, whom I met in college. One day, I had a beer with him while he talked my ear off about capital management and private equity.

I know my experience isn't reflective of every other Indian-American girl's experience. Because recently, I've been accused of hating on my own culture.

This isn't the year 1890 -- there are a bunch of Indian guys who are beginning to break the mold and expand into other areas like tech, editorial and even comedy (hey, Aziz Ansari! People call me out on social media for, uh, choosing vanilla over chocolate.

Sometimes referred to as "internalized racism," it's the allegation that you believe the stereotypes that the world has created of your own kind, so you resist your own kind. Until that happens, I'm going to keep doing what I've always done. And I'll tell you this: I'm certainly not the only girl who struggles with cultural identity and self-acceptance.

Well, I suppose I resist my own kind because of two things: all the bad dates I've been on with brown men and the fact that I'm not into my culture's idea of what a pristine Indian man "should" be like (ie. We live in a world where interracial dating is more widely accepted than ever before. This struggle I have is also an immigrant struggle.

Secondly, we take factors like your level of education, income and location into account.



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